At a certain point in your cycle, do you feel the need to hibernate or escape?

I know that a lot of you do because I get a lot of messages about how to handle it! 

I’m someone who needs a lot of time to myself and my cycle really amplifies this. It’s all good if this happens on a weekday – I work on my own and my son goes to pre-school every day. But on a weekend, it can be tricky because I can feel torn between my needs and my family’s.

If this is a situation that you find yourself in, then here’s what I find helps:

Be aware.

Seriously, just being aware of what your needs are is a great start. When you know where you’re at, then at least you know why you might find certain people or situations tricky. Tracking your cycle is, of course, my favourite way to do this.

Communicate.

I know this may seem like an obvious one, but it’s one that I can miss and I know that you guys forget about it too because I’m always talking about it on coaching calls. When I tell my boyfriend how I’m feeling and what I need, then the likelihood of getting those things skyrockets and it improves our relationship too. He’s happy and I’m happy. 

But when you don’t communicate what’s going on, you might find yourself getting pissy about your needs not being met (even though you haven’t met them, let alone someone else) or because the other person hasn’t become aware of them without you having to say anything. But they can’t read your mind, so you do need to tell them the things you want them to be aware of.

Exercise

I’ve started running on Saturday and/or Sunday mornings and it makes a huge difference to the weekend because early on in the day, I have some time to myself, I’m outside, and moving my body sorts my head out. 

Get outside

Although I live by the beach and I love walking along the coast, what I love the most is being surrounded by trees, but there aren’t many trees in Margate! Blean Woods is an easy drive and I love walking there on my own or as a family. We all love being there and the journey means that I have time to be in my own head for a lot of the drive. Being outside makes a massive difference to how I feel and it also satisfies the ‘I need to get out of here’ urge I often get in the Autumn phase of my cycle.

Respect your needs

Over the last six months, I’ve realised that I have a lot of sensory needs and I’m currently exploring my life through this new lens. It’s certainly something that’s intensified by my cycle and can make living with two males really challenging at times. But it’s not just people with sensory processing issues who struggle with sounds and smells etc, clients often tell me about their need to retreat because social situations or living with others can get too much for their senses at certain points of their cycle.

If that rings true for you, then respect how you’re feeling. Sometimes it really is better to retreat than to push through and end up losing your shit somehow. There are times when the best thing I can do for myself (and for my family), is to say that I need some time on my own and to take it – without feeling guilty.

Take what you can

It’s usually not possible to retreat in the way that you’d like to. According to a gossip website, I apparently check into hotels – a fabulous idea, but not my current reality!

But I’m willing to bet that there are ways for you to claim more than you currently do. Doing so will require you to come into relationship with yourself, express yourself in new ways, maintain healthy boundaries and come up with some creative solutions to respect your needs.

It is possible, even for you.