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Welcome to the Period Power podcast. I’m your host Maisie Hill menstrual health expert, acupuncturist, certified life coach and author of Period Power. I’m on a mission to help you get your cycle working for you so that you can use it to get what you want out of life. Are you ready? Let’s go.

Hello everyone. On last week’s episode I spoke to you about loving your past self. And this week I want to talk about loving your future self. So this is a tool that I have used for many, many years. I’d say it’s just something that I have naturally done for a long time, way before I knew it was a coaching concept. And you may have done it too. Or it may be completely new to you and I’m quite excited for you if that’s the case. But either way it’s all good.

What we’re going to do today is just bring this idea of a future version of you into focus and even if you already do this in some way already I think it’s going to be really useful to just have it named as a tool. That was certainly the case for me when I realised it was a thing and something that other people do or don’t know about. So here’s the deal. Your future self is simply you in the future. That’s all it is. That could be you in three months’ time or three years’ time. It could also be you in 30 minutes time or three hours.

I actually love working with my future self in small timeframes like that. Maybe there’s a task that I’d just rather not do and I’m trying to avoid doing it, just kind of putting it off. And for me those things are usually tasks that do not take a lot of time, either maybe it’s just an email that I need to reply to, a phone call I need to make, or I don’t know, a small amount of work in some way. We could just describe them as things I’d rather not do but which are important to do.

But just because they might only take a few minutes of my time, that doesn’t mean that they won’t require something of me, particularly as an autistic person. There are just some things that are challenging for me, or they require a level of executive function that isn’t always available to me. And this does fluctuate a lot with my cycle.

But phone calls, I have spoken about this before I think on the podcast. I definitely speak about it over on Instagram. But most of the time I need to psyche myself up for making phone calls. And I script what I say. I’ll actually write down what I’m going to say or sometimes I’ll kind of create this personality in myself in order to make the phone call. And sometimes I know that the best thing to do is to just care for my nervous system and not cajole myself into doing a task that I don’t have the capacity for.

But there are other times when I just don’t want to do it because I want to record a podcast, or I want to coach my clients, or I want to create something. And what I do in those moments is think about my future self, the me in three minutes, or 30 minutes, who has completed this task. How will I be thinking about myself? How will I be feeling when I have done this thing? And I might feel relieved because I’m thinking how great it is to just have it off my list and not have it hanging over me.

I might feel excited because I have created evidence for myself that I’m someone who can do these things. And by the way, typically what happens after I’ve made a phone call is I literally dance around the house, leaping and squealing, and I text Paul or I’ll share it on Instagram, I made a phone call. Because it’s a big deal for me. So I’ll think about future me who has made that phone call. And as I said, I’m always mindful, do I need to care for myself in this moment? Am I trying to force myself? Or is this something that I have the capacity for, and I just need to find my way into it?

But I will just really visualise my success, and really think about the future version of me, even if it’s just in a few minutes time, who has done these things. And to just feel my way into that success in my body. So I do it to the point at which I can feel it. I can feel the shift in my body. And I can create those emotions ahead of time through how I’m thinking and that’s what allows me to then actually do the task and to do it effectively, and efficiently, and without drama. And I let that emotion build in me and then that shifts me into taking the action that’s required.

And if you do this, if you give this a go, your brain might be like, well, do we have to do this every time there’s a task that we need to get done? But it’s such a time saver to do this. This is how I wrote both of my books in such short timeframes. It’s how I do get so much done. But this is something that goes beyond the doing, the taking action because when you create a relationship with your future self you are connecting with your highest, wisest self. And because of that you’ll approach things differently. You’ll think more strategically.

And instead of being busy you’ll cut through everything and see what needs to be done, what are the things that are essential. And that’s because when you’re connecting with your future self you’re connecting with the version of you who has done it. Whether it’s making a phone call, or changing the trajectory of your career, making a certain amount of money, or initiating and completing a professional or a personal project of some kind, whatever it is.

But when you think about future you, the future version of you who has done this in that moment you become the person who has got it done. And you don’t know how you’re going to get it done, most likely. But you have and through doing that you realise who you need to become and how you need to be approaching things through your thoughts, through your feelings, through your actions. This is such a powerful tool to use.

I remember it, doing it one time or sharing it with Paul. We were walking around Paris, it was our first trip together, our first holiday. And we hadn’t been together very long. But we’d gone to Strasbourg, and we were getting the train back. So we had a few hours between changing trains in Paris. And we were just walking around talking about our futures, the things we wanted to do, how those early conversations in a relationship go. Although I will say, we actually had one of these yesterday, we’ve been together for eight years or so.

So we do return to those, and I do think it’s a great conversation to have either with yourself or with others. Anyway, we were walking around Paris, and this was at a point in my career where I was working as a practitioner and as a doula. And I had run a couple of in-person workshops. And I knew I wanted to help more people. I had no idea how. And I don’t mean in terms of just the format, the logistics, the practicalities of it. I didn’t know what the topic was. I didn’t know what I’d be talking about.

But I told him how I had this process of creating a mental picture in my mind of speaking to hundreds and to thousands of people in my future. And he was really interested in what I meant. So I explained to him that it’s not like having a set image. The visual in my mind wasn’t particularly clear. It was quite fuzzy actually. But what I had complete clarity about was how it felt in my body and what my internal experience of helping a large number of people at once felt like. And I would spend time doing this once in a while, to think about doing this in my future.

Again, I didn’t know how but I would just give myself that experience in the moment, to just feel my way into it. And now this is the reality of my life. I help hundreds of people inside The Flow Collective. I talk to thousands of people via the podcast, tens of thousands through my books, in all the ways. But me back then had no idea that this would be the format in which I achieved that goal, that vision. I didn’t get stuck in the details. I just let myself dream. I created a picture in my head, I paid attention to how I felt.

And I focused on who I would need to become in order to create this. And I’ve been doing this recently as well because I’ve been finding ways to think bigger and to dream bigger because there’s a lot of things that I’ve done. And I’m ready to update my goals. And in my final month of master coach training my instructors gave me a fun bonus project of considering what I need to do in order to take it to the next level which I have to say, it was a really great fun extra project to do because I didn’t need to be clear on what the next level was.

It was just all about what would I need in order to take it to the next level. So it was like a sneaky backdoor way into me accessing a new set of goals. And that’s when I remembered that I’d actually previously come up with a goal. But I’d just kind of negotiated with it a little bit. I don’t know if you’ve ever done that where you come up with a goal of some kind but then kind of just want to forget it straightaway because it makes you feel a bit uncomfortable, or your thoughts about it make you feel uncomfortable. Might make you want to vomit a bit. Well, that’s what I had done.

But it was also a season in my life where I was really prioritising taking care of myself. And also being in the having. And what I mean by that is sitting in the results that I’d already created without jumping into what’s next. Because that’s such a tendency I think particularly for me of okay, done that, amazing, what’s next. So instead I was consciously deciding to sit in my successes instead of striving for more. So this goal was, it was on the side lines.

I knew it was there, but I wasn’t in a rush to stick it right in front of me and crack on with it because I’d been more focused on goals that have a shorter timeline. But even those more immediate goals are actually still in service of the big impossible goal. But now I’m thinking about it more purposefully, more intentionally because I’ll be 42 this year. And I’m thinking about me being 52, 10 years’ time. And what do I want to be celebrating then? What do I want to be doing? What impact do I want to have?

So I’m not mucking about, this is big fucking shit to be thinking about. No playing small. And I’m so proud of my books and other achievements that I’ve had. But The Flow Collective and my podcast are what I consider my life’s work. So my huge goal, my 10 year goal is to have 10,000 people in The Flow Collective. Imagine that, helping 10,000 people, 10,000 people using the tools. Being able to self-coach themselves. Knowing how to process their emotions. Being able to regulate their nervous systems.

Being able to have conversations that they have previously avoided because freak the hell out of them, just the idea of it, or they’ve felt very uncomfortable, so they avoided them. 10,000 people feeling confident about giving boundaries. 10,000 people not people pleasing their way through life. I’m having goosebumps and a moment over here just thinking about it. Think of the impact of that on their cycles, their mental health, their relationships, their careers, everything. That’s 10,000 lives transformed.

And to me that is so motivating. There’s also part of me that’s like, how is that going to happen? But I really wanted a stretched goal because it is time, it’s something I have decided for me to start thinking bigger and to open myself up to the possibility of helping that many people through coaching. Here’s the interesting thing, this is something that Paul pointed out to me. 100,000 people also isn’t a lot.

So Arsenal and Spurs, and if you’re not into UK football, Arsenal and Spurs are two premiership league football teams. That’s soccer for those of you in the US. And the capacity of each of their stadiums is around 60,000 people. So my huge impossible goal is only a sixth of one of their clubs. So it’s both a huge number and also not that many when you think about scale and how many people are out there in need of this. So my thought now is that I’m only just getting started and I’m sure I’m still going to have that thought in 10 years’ time. I’m only just getting started.

But my goal of helping 10,000 people through The Flow Collective means I can get strategic about who I need to become and what needs to happen in order to support that goal. So that means creating a process that everyone can go through when they sign up so that everyone’s on the same page with the main tools that we use inside the membership. And that’s why I created Harness Your Hormones, one of the reasons.

It also means having a membership portal that is set up to handle that number of people because before when we had the app which was the first iteration of the membership, we couldn’t automate anything. And there were things that I wanted to offer our clients that we just couldn’t do in that format. So that meant changing things that was uncomfortable to do that. But we needed to, I needed to do that for me now, for my clients now and for the future.

We’d actually already outgrown it, but creating the new membership portal, the new website meant thinking ahead to helping more people. And the same goes for hiring people to join the team. So last year, Rebecca came on as our community manager. And I recently hired two coaches, Shannon, and Casey. And I have a new assistant, Nicole who also happens to be a certified coach, very helpfully. Mars Lord who you know through the podcast, coaches on our monthly BIPOC call as well as some of the other calls in the membership. And we’ve got other guest coaches too.

This is all making decisions ahead of time that are going to support where The Flow Collective is now and as we grow. And so that meant bringing in Ask a Coach which is our new service. I’m so proud that we offer this now to our clients. You can submit a coaching request in writing any time you want, as often as you want. And one of our coaches will reply to you with coaching that is specific to you and your situation. I didn’t think we’d be able to do this for years, but I knew that I wanted to be able to offer it and we made it happen.

And the reason I was able to do that was because of this relationship with my future self. So these are just a few of the decisions and courses of action that I’ve taken because I have this relationship with my future self. So I’ve thought about what needs to happen now and over the course of the next few years in order to move towards that goal. And it’s also looking back why I have invested so much in my brain and in my business these last few years.

I’ve told the story before on the podcast about how there was a point where our toilet at home was broken, and it wouldn’t flush properly. And we just didn’t have the money to get a new one. And then I think what happened was the rights to publish Period Power was sold to a publisher in another country. So it gets translated and published somewhere else. And so there was some money that came in. There was enough, definitely could have got a new toilet. But instead I invested in coaching because I didn’t want to keep struggling month to month.

And I had this huge vision that I wanted to create. So I decided not to get a working toilet and I spent that money on coaching. And I did that because I was in relationship with my future self. I’d practiced delayed gratification. I made the decision for my future self and for everyone that she would help. It’s why I just went through master coach training, it was a huge investment to do in terms of financially, emotionally, the level of commitment, what it took to go through that. Of course I’m going to do that because it helps my clients.

My coaching’s got so much better, but it was also a serious level up in terms of how I think of myself. I think before I would probably describe myself as having my own business and being an entrepreneur but now I am the CVO, the Chief Visionary Officer. And that had to happen. I needed to make that shift if I’m to help that number of people and also to grow my team. But it was also an investment in my clients’ futures because just think about the ripple effect.

Because when I level up like that and it increases what’s possible for me I know I’m also increasing what’s possible for my clients and then the ripple effect continues through into their lives and into their communities. This is why I’m always investing in coaching, the return on investment is huge. This is also what I mean about making decisions for your future self. And for you that might not look like undergoing training or investing money somehow but there are so many other things it could be, like booking your cervical screening appointment or some kind of medical appointment.

Your future self is going to love you so much for caring for yourself enough to make that appointment. Or going to the dentist, I always feel like such a grown up when I’ve gone to the dentist. Or maybe it’s doing your accounting and taking care of money matters in some way, maybe opening an ISA, starting a pension, oh my goodness. Think about how you in 40 years’ time is going to be so thankful, so grateful to you for starting a pension now. Or maybe you’re just not available for something in your life anymore.

Recently in our community one of my clients shared how there’s a tendency in her family for various family members to talk to one another about the other family members without talking directly to the person involved. And she decided she just doesn’t want any part of that anymore. It’s just not for her. So her future self is going to love her so much for deciding that, for having that standard in her family relationships, having that standard for herself.

So there are all sorts of decisions that you can come to, all sorts of actions that you can take. But the starting point is to think about your future self, to become that version of you in an hour’s time, in a month, a year, 10 years. And get to know that version of yourself. And to explore what wisdom they have for you. And you can literally write a letter to yourself from your future self. What do they want you to know? What have they got to say? And what do they want you to do or to stop doing?

I really recommend that you do this. It’s a fascinating process to go through. It can be quite surprising what comes up. So go and do it. Grab a pen and paper or type it out, but just get in touch with your future self and see what they have to say. So have fun doing it, let me know how it goes. And I’ll be back next week when I’ve returned from holiday. So I’ll see you all on the other side.

Thanks for listening to this week’s episode of the Period Power podcast. If you enjoyed learning how to make your cycle work for you, head over to maisiehill.com for more.