This is episode 219 and today I’m breaking down how to instantly change your results with one of the simplest but most overlooked ways that you can fast track your success and that is being in the room. If you’ve ever felt stuck, like you keep thinking about what you want but you know, things just aren’t moving and maybe life’s getting in the way and like there’s always reasons to not do stuff, then this shift could change everything.

If you want to do things differently but need some help making it happen then tune in for your weekly dose of coaching from me, Maisie Hill, Master Life Coach and author of Period Power. Welcome to The Maisie Hill Experience.

Hi folks, I am recording this before I head off to Arizona tomorrow. I cannot wait. I am going back there for a week-long course. I’ve got a cab coming to pick me up at 4am and I will arrive at the workshop venue at my Airbnb 24 hours later. Actually, longer than that. It is a long journey to get there and I suspect my period is going to start tomorrow.

I’m not sure I’m going to be able to use my usual strategy of just staying awake for the entire journey, which is how I usually avoid jet lag. Sometimes I take a little nap on the second flight from Dallas. Basically, I drink a whole load of coffee, I work, I read, I watch movies, and then when I get there, I fall asleep and just very quickly adjust to the local time zone. It’s how I avoid getting jet lag. I’ve actually never had jet lag. I don’t know if that’s going to happen this time though. We’re going to have to see.

But for the last few weeks, I have been working on an ongoing project. And whilst I’ve been in beast mode doing that work. I have been also having some really great conversations about success with my coach colleagues and friends, my peers. And so I’ve been reflecting on my own success, which has been interesting to do that whilst I’ve been doing the work that I’m doing at the moment. And just really considering what has actually moved the needle for me.

And there’s several things, but I think one massive factor that it always comes back to is this. I put myself in the room over and over again. Environments that ask more of me, that challenge how I think, that push me to make moves that I’d otherwise like hesitate on or, you know, maybe talk myself out of a bit. It kind of downplay those moves and find more comfortable ones to make.

These are rooms where I’m surrounded by people who are doing the things that I want to be doing. They’re either doing them alongside me or they’ve already done them. They’re taking action. They’re asking higher value questions. They’re making things happen.

And before you think, oh yeah, I do that. Let’s just check in for a moment. Are you actually? Because I have certainly had conversations with people who think they’re in the room, but they’re actually sitting on the sidelines. They’re watching other people take action. They’re thinking about making moves, but they haven’t committed. And we know they haven’t committed because they’re not taking the action. They’re listening to podcasts, they’re reading books, they’re consuming but not applying and not getting help actually doing those things. That’s not being in the room.

And to be very clear, this isn’t about taking time off or having an intentional slower season of some kind. Often that is actually a really strong indicator that you are in the room simply because of the level of mind management required to do that.

When I think back to doing master coach training, which is a great example of being in the room, that first month of it, I really struggled. I was in autistic burnout but hadn’t realised that I was and I wasn’t handing in any of my assignments and my instructors were like, what’s up? What’s going on? That’s not how I wanted to start. But because I was in the room, it was very obvious to everyone that I wasn’t participating. There was no hiding from that. That’s exposing and useful because it meant that I could work through it.

So my moving forward looked very different to what I had expected it to be and it was quite different to what other people were working on because it was all about self-care, deep self-care. So, you know, not moving forward and not making moves is different to intentionally taking time away, which is a very strong move to make. It all depends on where this is coming from.

It’s different to doing inner, root-level work that is impactful, but it’s not as immediately visible as like getting a new job, for example. But when you are in the room, you’re held by the supportive forces of the group and it has a containing effect on you as long as you’re willing to be held by it and like don’t exclude yourself, which is possible.

I’ve done that. I’ve seen other people doing it. When you’re in the room and you stay in the room, you can get coached, you can figure out what support you need, you can come up with solutions and find new paths faster than you would when you’re doing it on your own. But when you tell yourself you’re in the room, when really you’re avoiding doing things, waiting to feel ready, and not putting yourself forward for opportunities. That’s when you get stuck. That’s when you feel stuck. Not because you need more information, not because you’re not capable, but because you’re not putting yourself in the spaces where the shifts actually happen.

I’m going to break this down for you today, like why this keeps you spinning, why the right rooms change everything and how you can start doing it now. Because being in the room isn’t just about inserting yourself in physical spaces, it’s about proximity to possibility. It’s putting yourself in environments where people are thinking differently, they’re making decisions faster, they’re taking bigger actions, leaning into discomfort. It’s being around people who challenge what you think and particularly they challenge what you think is possible for you because who you surround yourself with dictates your level of success. They will either slow you down and hold you back or support you and catapult you forward.

If you are surrounded by people who hesitate, overthink and talk themselves out of things, guess what you will do? That if you’re surrounded by people who decide, move, make things happen, then that energy becomes yours. And I don’t just mean, you know, the big flashy dramatic changes, which of course we love. It happens in smaller, more subtle ways that just stack up and almost sneak up on you and you don’t realize just how much you’ve changed.

You start thinking differently, you make better decisions and you make them more efficiently. You don’t second guess yourself, you back yourself in a way that you never have before and you stop waiting to feel ready, you just decide that you are. That is the power of the right room. And it happens in ways you don’t even notice at first, simply because that’s what’s being modeled to you.

Like how I have this amazing friend, Helena, and she cooks next level meals. They are incredible and just so delicious. And every time we have dinner with her, I leave feeling inspired and I seek out new recipes.

I experiment with ingredients that I never usually buy because I’ve had them as part of her meal. Likewise, her husband Scott, he’s the guy who mentioned Run Club a few times. And I was like, maybe I’ll give that a go. And I did. And when I go to Run Club, when I’m in that room, I run further than I would probably do on my own. And I carry myself differently. My posture, the energy that I run with is different because I’m seeing how all the very experienced runners around me are carrying themselves.

So environment changes everything. The fastest way that you can stretch your thinking, challenge your assumptions and actually move is to be around people who already think and operate at that level. Because when you surround yourself with people who do the things that you want to do, those things become normal. And that might be so necessary to you if you don’t have people around you doing these things. And it seems very outlandish or unusual or just not the done thing, maybe even frowned on.

So these things become normal and your identity shifts, your results shift and suddenly you stop asking yourself if you can do it and you start focusing on how. And it stops being this really far out idea and starts being inevitable. To the point where I literally have to point out to clients that they have achieved the thing that they set out to do. Because along the way, it’s just become normal to them. So they end up bypassing, acknowledging and celebrating themselves that they have done it.

And I’ll say to them, hey, hold on. This is the thing that you once told me was such a big goal for you, and it seemed impossible, but you have done it. And I kind of invite them into a place where they can just soak up that success. One of the biggest benefits of being in the room is that you get to borrow belief before you fully have it yourself. Right, that can be often me as the coach, but it can also be the people around you, like your peers.

Most of the time, you can’t see what’s possible for you, but other people can. And when you watch someone who is just like you or similar to you, when you watch them go first, it cracks something open inside of you. I see it happening all the time in the membership.

A client will come in and they’ll be stuck and convinced that they’re not ready to do something or they’ll have particular fears that are holding them back or they just don’t have a particular set of skills yet in order to do the thing they’re terrified of doing. But then they see another member, someone with the same insecurities or doubts, the same fears, the same types of obstacles. They’ll see them get coached and then they’ll see them go away and take action because they always come back and report and tell us what’s happened which is so amazing to see. And then it’s like their brain goes, oh, well, if they can do it, maybe that’s possible for me too.

And your brain needs that exposure. It needs proof. And the fastest way for you to get that proof is to put yourself in the spaces where people are proving it every day. Because when you’re not in those spaces, you are far more likely to default back to your old thinking, you’ll be relying on your own thoughts and be less inclined to intercept them and challenge them. You will stay stuck in your own blind spots and probably just be second guessing and overthinking instead of making the moves and then assessing your results.

With that comes talking yourself out of opportunities, maybe before they even start happening. I’ve seen this recently. I was coaching someone the other day and I pointed out they had this great opportunity in front of them, but they were talking themselves out of it with their limited thoughts about themselves. So instead, you just wait. That’s costly. Left to your own devices, you’re more likely to keep running the same patterns and that’s what keeps people stuck for years.

So when you put yourself in the room you are actively deciding you are going to disrupt that cycle and it expands what you think is possible for you. It exposes you to new ways of thinking, making decisions, new ways of doing things. And over time, that is what becomes your new normal.

The other thing about being in the right room is that it creates momentum. When you’re in a space where everyone is showing up, where they’re doing things, they’re taking action, you absorb that energy. You get carried forward by the collective momentum. And this isn’t about pressure or everyone having to show up in the same way or be replicas of each other, that’s not what I mean.

This is about just the collective energy that is creative when people are in the same room. Have you ever noticed how when people around you are making moves, it makes it harder for you to stay stuck? That’s because action is the currency of the space. When you’re surrounded by people who are moving, you move too. I’ve seen this in my own life so many times.

Quite a long time ago now, I was studying nutrition and I was assigned to my regular class but there were several other classes each week, all doing the same course, the same material. If you couldn’t attend your class, you could make up the class by just jumping into one of the other ones. One week, Nelson was ill, so I missed my class. I went on another day, and the difference was stark. I can still feel like the shock in my body now at the difference and I kind of hadn’t realized what my class was like until I had this comparison and this is why it’s so important to be assessing the spaces that you are in.

So it was the same teacher, the same course, literally the same material, but each class had completely different vibes. The class that I was assigned to complained a lot. They were like almost anti-learning. I say they, that includes me and I’m someone who loves learning but there was a vibe in that class. Whereas the class that I sat in on were very curious, eager to learn, very engaged and asking much better questions. It was an intellectually stimulating environment to be in and that was contagious. It was so much better. So same material, same teacher, totally different results. It was just a different room.

So the energy of the room dictates what you take away from it and this is why the energy you bring matters too, okay, because we are all contributing to the spaces that we are in. But this is why being in the right room matters. We’ve had so many members tell us or you know even like when I first joined and I wasn’t posting much yet or I hadn’t been coached but I was just in the community and listening to the replays and that just changed how I approach things. That’s not magic, it’s exposure. The fastest way to transform how you think, how you act, how you make decisions is to put yourself in an environment where that way of doing things is normal.

Now, before you run off and join the first group that you see out there, there’s something crucial that you need to know. Not every room will get you where you want to go. I was on a call recently with my peers and someone else was getting coached, but I said, I do not accept the opinions of people who don’t know how to manage their minds. But some of you are in rooms full of people who don’t know how to manage their minds and that is costing you.

Because although, yes, on one hand you might be surrounded by your professional peers, okay, or people who are working on something similar to you or who have similar interests or whatever it is. If all those people are freaking out and they’re making fear based decisions and they’re operating from scarcity and that comes through when you go into an online community. There’s so many equestrian ones and I’m like, oh this is a group of people who are, I don’t even know where to start. But there’s some stuff going on there. Then these rooms are not the ones for you to be in. They are rooms for you to get out of.

I know I can be in those rooms. There’s certain things I go in there for, but I can manage my mind at such a high level that that shit doesn’t bother me. I can just bypass it, get what I want and leave again.

So think about it like this. If you are just walking down your high street, your local high street and you walk past a shop that sells things that you’re into, it’s the shop that you would usually go in. But as you get closer, you notice that it’s chaos inside. There’s people running around, panicking, bumping into each other. It’s crowded. There’s zero control, very loud, completely ungrounded energy. Would your body let you walk in? No, I don’t think it would. It would tell you to stay the hell away.

Some of you are in those spaces and you’re absorbing that energy. If you’re in a space where people complain more than they problem solve, where they take down other people, where they blame circumstances instead of taking responsibility for the stuff that is theirs to take responsibility for. When they are more attached to why things won’t work than figuring out how they could work, that’s not a room that moves you forward.

That is a room that keeps you stuck or it pulls you backward. So take a moment to just assess things. What kinds of rooms are you in right now?

If you’re surrounded by people who don’t know how to manage their minds. It just popped into my head. Parenting WhatsApp groups or school WhatsApp groups. I’ve never been in one of those. There’s no chance I would put myself in a room like that. No thank you. There’s all sorts of places that are like that.

So if you’re surrounded by people who are indulging in unhelpful thought patterns, who are constantly reinforcing their limitations, that’s not a room that’s going to elevate you or help you. And if you’re in one of those rooms, I strongly suggest that you ask yourself why. Why are you choosing to be in an environment that’s costing you and keeping you small? What’s the pull? Like really answer that. This is good information to know.

Is it obligation? Is it fear of what people will think if you leave? Are you hooked on the entertainment and the drama of the space, even though it’s actually having a negative impact on you? Is it because you can use what other people say, like their opinions, as evidence of why you shouldn’t go for it? Because on some level that feels safer to you, even though I would argue it is not.

Understanding why is important because I guarantee this pattern of thinking and behaving will be showing up in other aspects of your life too. And this is why I am so intentional about my membership because the quality of the room dictates the quality of your results.

So we have a very different standard I think to most online spaces. We don’t dump and vent. You get to bring your stuff because the point that it is a space where you get to bring your stuff and work through it. We encourage you to do that. But there’s a way to do that that’s self-responsible and not just kind of dumping all your stuff.

When you are in the right room, you don’t have to figure it all out alone. Learning how to ask for help and how to receive help are skills. So you can bring your stuff in a self-responsible way, you get coached, you have realizations, you make shifts, you move on with your life. That’s the whole point. So to that end, we’re also not going to indulge thought spirals.

And let’s think about that. If you just decided in your life, whether you’re in the membership or not, that you’re just not going to indulge thought spirals anymore, you’re going to challenge them instead. And what if you’re not going to let self-doubt run the show and you’re just going to take action despite it? Because who you are in the room is just as important as being in it.

Hey, we move, we evaluate, we learn, we grow and we do it together and that is what I want for you. Now some of you might be thinking, well I prefer to work alone Maisie. Me too, 100%, I am right there with you. But when you’re in the right room, it’s not about needing other people’s answers, it’s about exposing yourself to better questions and seeing what other people are doing in a way that is going to be supportive to you.

And if you’ve ever felt like, well, you know, I just don’t belong in rooms. I feel very uncomfortable. Like it’s not for me. I feel excluded. Okay. Well, first of all, I don’t know where you’ve been hanging out or what your experiences is. So we can definitely question, you know, the places that you’ve been, but here’s what I want to say on this.

“I don’t belong in that room” is just a thought and that is a thought that you want to shift. “I always belong in the room.” That’s my thought. Doesn’t matter what the room is, I belong in there. I might choose not to be in it, but I always belong.

Secondly, that level of trepidation and wondering if you belong is completely normal and it’s a good thing because it indicates you are leveling up and putting yourself in a room that requires something of you. If you felt 100% comfortable in the room, like from the get-go, is it asking anything of you or maybe you’re not asking enough of yourself by being there. But that’s different to telling yourself that you don’t belong.

So you can believe you belong and it feel uncomfortable because it’s a level up of some kind. When I’ve joined the best rooms I’ve been in, I’ve always felt a little uncomfortable at first. That’s the whole point. To me, that’s a sign that that is the room for me to be in.

So think about something that you want right now, like a dream or a goal of some kind that you’ve been sitting on and ask yourself, where is the room that will make it happen? Where are the people who already think, act and operate at the level you want to be at? And how can you put yourself there again and again until it’s your new normal? How are you going to show up? Every big leap I’ve ever made started with me putting myself in the right room.

Okay, I was making a list of all the times that I have done this. So you ready? I’m sure there’s more, but this is what I got for you. Finding a doula training that would take me on. Because I think I was 22 when I did my birth doula training and I had no kids. And I had looked for a training provider prior to this and everyone had been turning me down because back then, you know, they wouldn’t accept you because you didn’t have your own kids. That was a requirement. I pushed on and I found a room to put myself in.

Same goes for working with my first coach, using my overdraft to make that investment. And please don’t mistake my experience of doing that as an instruction from me for what you ought to do. That was a level of risk I was very comfortable with. Getting my book in front of publishers, you know, that’s really putting yourself in the room. Applying for master coach training, being in master coach training, being in the business masterminds that I have been in and continue to be in, and also doing a Peloton ride with my friend Kina, which to this day remains my personal best for that length of ride because I was in the room. I put myself in that room with her and I was determined to at least manage to catch up with her, which I think I managed. I didn’t manage to beat her, which I’ll be honest, that was my ideal. But that was asking more of me.

Every single time, there was some degree of discomfort. Nothing’s guaranteed except I was willing to bet on myself. That was the guarantee. Every single time, it changed everything. You know where I’m going with this? Where do you need to put yourself right now? Not in a year’s time. Now. What’s the room you need to be in?

What’s the room you want to be in? Maybe it’s signing up for a course of some kind, a program, maybe it’s joining a community of professionals, putting yourself forward for something you’ve been putting off. It could be all sorts of things. You don’t have to have it all figured out. That’s what you do when you’re in the room. So you just have to get in the room. Because when you do that, you’ll get exactly what you need to move forward every time.

If you wait until you feel ready, you will be waiting forever. And the only way to feel ready is to take this first step and just get going with it. So decide today, make the move, put yourself in the room. So when you do that, you don’t have to wonder what’s possible for you anymore. You will be living it. And that is an incredible place to be.

Okay, folks, this is such a fun episode to share with you. Reflect on this, really think about it. What spaces have you been in that have inspired you, required something of you in a really fabulous way, that have got you operating in a way that’s completely different to your day-to-day default setting. Then that way of doing things became the new normal.

I encourage you to put yourself in the room, literally and metaphorically. It is such an amazing strategy to employ. So go put yourself in the room. I’ll catch you later.

Hey, if you love listening to this podcast then come and check out my membership Powerful, where you get my best resources and all the coaching you need to transform your inner and outer life. Sign up to the waitlist at maisiehill.com/powerful, and I’ll see you in the community.