This is episode 302 and today we’re talking about the importance of rest. Let’s get into it. 

If you want to do things differently but need some help making it happen, then tune in for your weekly dose of coaching from me, Maisie Hill, Master Life Coach and author of Period Power. Welcome to The Maisie Hill Experience.

Hi folks. This podcast episode wasn’t what I was going to do this week. But I’m just trusting that it’s exactly what you need to hear today because everyone else that I’ve shared this with has been incredibly relieved to hear what I have to say.

But before we dive into it, I want to give a shout-out to someone. I’m going to give this person a shout-out. I don’t know if this is their name or just their account name, but, fellowacia, you left a review of the podcast, and you shared, “I just- damn. Thank you, Maisie Hill, this has been my audio bible and helped me build the most loving, respecting, compassionate, abundant, joyous and curious life. I am endlessly grateful for this podcast and Maisie’s existence.” Thank you so much for sharing that. That’s literally what I intended with the podcast.

So, it’s always amazing to read all of your reviews and they really do help others to find the podcast. And I want to help as many people as I can through it. So, I always appreciate how all of you help with that through your reviews as well as sharing over on Instagram, etc., so thank you.

Okay, now for the thing that I want to tell you. Excuse the sirens. This is a conversation that I have been having literally on repeat for the past couple of weeks. I’ve had it with friends, with family, with my clients, even with strangers on the other end of the phone.

So, everyone I’m speaking to is tired. I can’t think of a conversation I’ve had recently where someone hasn’t commented that they’re feeling tired, or less motivated than they have been, or that they’re forgetting things all the time. Literally everyone is feeling it, and I am too, in case you were wondering.

So, I want you to know that if you’re also in this camp of feeling tired, it’s not just you, it’s everyone, or at least everyone that I’m speaking to. So just let that be the first wave of relief. We recently crossed over into autumn and I pay a lot of attention to seasonal change.

When I was working as an acupuncturist, I would really see the impact of the seasons changing on my clients because for a couple of weeks around the times that the seasons change. All of my clients would pretty much start reporting similar symptoms and experiences of their bodies, like changing energy levels, and their pulses would change.

And I have explained this on the podcast before, one of the things that Chinese medicine practitioners do is we take your pulse, not just to feel how fast it is, but to also judge the qualities of it. So, can you feel it when your fingers are gently resting on someone’s skin, or do you have to press down really deep to find it? Does it feel big, or does it feel thin? Does it feel tight like a wire? Or does it feel like it’s slipping past your fingers?

And when the seasons change there’s this period of a couple of weeks where all of your clients’ pulses seem to change at the same time. And it’s basically this idea that what’s going on externally in nature also has an impact on us internally. And I touched on this a few episodes ago when it was the autumn equinox, September 22nd, I think it was.

And I was inviting you in that episode to reflect on how you’re feeling, and I wanted to return to it today to remind you that you may well be feeling different, tired, moving slower, feeling less inclined to do the things that you usually do. And some of that could be down to the seasonal change. So that’s the context of why this might be happening to you at the moment. And I would say that this is pretty common/normal for this time of year in any given year. But I think the seasonal change is impacting us all far more significantly than it usually does.

So, you know when you have those days when you just can’t be bothered, when you just don’t want to do anything, and your body is just crying out for rest? I have them too. And it’s important to honour those days. I speak a lot, especially here on the podcast, about how we can use thought work to overcome things like procrastination and to create focus and actually do stuff. But that shouldn’t be at the expense of ignoring your body’s request for rest, or, for that matter, your brain’s request for rest, because when you ignore your body’s plea, that’s what leads to burnout.

And not to mention, a pretty shitty relationship with your body and with yourself, one where you’re pushing your body, continuously demanding that it perform for you all whilst you deny it the love, and the nourishment, and the rest that it needs.

So, here’s what I do when I’m thinking to myself that I can’t be bothered. I ask myself, is it my body that’s making the request? If it is my body asking to rest, then my litmus test for the answer is to wonder what I would do if someone messaged me to invite me to something that I would love to do. And if I would have the energy to do it because if I would have the energy then I know it’s my brain trying to avoid doing something.

And if it’s still a no, if I’m like, “Oh no, I still wouldn’t go ahead with that invitation”, then I really listen to that, and I adjust my diary as much as I can so that I can rest more. And this is important. I start reducing my commitments where I can. I become more boundaried with my time and with my energy. And I also spend my time wisely. So, when I am doing things, I really try to just do one thing at a time. I find that’s a really good rule to follow.

So, if I’m creating something like a webinar, then I want to just be doing that one thing. So, I’ll put my phone away. Or if I’m with my son, then I won’t be trying to reply to emails at the same time, which I think I’m quite good at anyway. But it means basically looking at my commitments and really thinking about what is a priority and what is not. Now, I said that I have been feeling tired. So, I have stripped things back. I’ve cancelled a couple of personal training sessions because my body was just giving me a clear no on those days.

And I’m doing less cycling on my Peloton even when my brain is going, “Come on, it’ll be great.” I’m like, “Oh, I know my brain wants to do this, but my body’s kind of asking for a bit of a rest.” And I’m really good at using thought work to get things done clearly. I’ve kind of had to. And I can create thoughts and feelings on purpose like focus, and motivation, and inspiration, and creativity. And I know I can do that.

But right now, my body is asking me to do less. And I actually made that decision on day 10 of my cycle to do less because day 10, that part of my cycle is quite instructive especially when it comes to levels of energy and things because that’s usually when I have a lot of energy and I feel really capable and enthusiastic about life. But in this cycle, that just wasn’t there in the same way that it usually is. And again, I know I could kind of create that for myself. But the fact that I needed to was very telling.

So basically, I’ve done a lot, and now I’m honouring that my body is saying let’s slow down. And I’m entering this period of doing less and really slowing down. One of my company’s values is to create epic results without burning ourselves out. And it’s such a great filter to run decisions through. Yes, we want to have a huge impact and help as many people as we can in the best way that we can. But that will never come at the expense of my physical or mental health, or anyone on my team’s physical or mental health.

So, something for you to consider is have you got lots of energy? Are you running on a full tank, or do you feel like you have to be mindful, maybe even careful with the amount of energy that you have? Because there’s a big difference between being mindful of your energy and being careful with your energy. So, I think about it like this. When you’re being mindful, you’re aware of your energy levels and how you’re using your energy.

It’s like when you’ve got a full tank of petrol, and you just notice how much gets used up when you go on a journey, knowing that you can refuel when you need to. Being careful, on the other hand, means there’s not much left in the tank, and you’ve got to be judicious in how you use it. 

But there’s that element of being careful with what you’ve got left. So, if that’s where you are, please look at what can be stripped back. What can you do less of? And that might be challenging for you to do, especially as doing less goes against our socialisation, and our value in the world is often based on what we do. And I’ve spoken about this in previous episodes, but if you’ve been socialised as female, then your value is especially based on what you do for others, not to mention how you look, etc., etc.

So, when it comes to doing less, you might have to sit in the discomfort of that, but I promise you it is worth it. Realising you don’t actually have to do so much is worth any discomfort on the front end. And your value in the world, your worthiness, has nothing to do with your productivity and what you do for others. Your value does not change according to whether you did things for other people or not. And watch where your brain goes. When you do less or when you contemplate doing less, do you make that mean things about you?

Do you berate yourself for not doing whatever it is you’ve decided not to do? Let’s say you’d planned to visit a friend or family member this weekend. But on reflection, you’ve realised that actually you just want to stay at home and hang out in your PJs, maybe watch Bake Off and I don’t know, maybe you just want to stay at home and watch that. So, you decide to cancel.

And that decision might feel great because you’re thinking that you listen to your body and that it’s going to be really lovely to just chill at home. But after that momentary relief you might have a load of other thoughts that don’t feel so great. So, you might have thoughts like I’m such a flake, I’m so unreliable, I’ve really let them down, I’ve been at home enough the past 18 months. I should get it together. I should be able to see them and on, and on, and on. Do you see how it goes?

And then what you do is you spend the whole weekend in your PJs making yourself feel like crap instead of actually resting and enjoying yourself. So, you may as well just have gone. Don’t do that, either of those things. So, you have to be onto yourself and just see where your brain is going, watch where your brain is going. See what your inner critic is up to. And then you have to redirect it like when you’re talking to a child or how you might imagine yourself talking to a child, like, “Yes, I see what you’re doing, and no, we’re not going to do it.” So, you’re watching it and you’re redirecting it.

Now let’s return to my original question, which was is it my body that’s making the request? If it’s not my body, then I know it’s my brain. So that’s when I have to have an honest conversation with myself about why I don’t want to do something. Is it because I feel emotions like doubt, or worry, or overwhelm? And if so, then the solution is to go and do some thought work to explore why I’m feeling that way. And to sit with my emotions, explore my thoughts, and then figure out what I want to do about it.

Or is it because my brain needs a rest? Now, you’ve got to be onto yourself with this one because this can be sneaky, like a permissive way of opting out of doing things that intimidate you. But that being said, brains do work well when we give them space and when they’ve had a chance to rest and just switch off, but that means real space. It doesn’t mean scrolling. Scrolling doesn’t count as space.

So, if your brain is asking for some rest, then give it that. Lie down. Do something calming. Do something that brings you pleasure. Read some fiction. Cook a meal without rushing. Masturbate. Look at old photos. Go for a walk. Whatever feels restful, and nourishing, and pleasurable, and fun to you, go do that. It’s essential that you do this.

Okay, my lovelies, that is it for this week. I hope it’s brought you some relief and an opportunity to consider how you’re feeling and if anything needs to change to support yourself physically and mentally. I will catch you next week.

Hey, if you love listening to this podcast then come and check out my membership, Powerful, where you get my best resources and all the coaching you need to transform your inner and outer life. Sign up to the waitlist at maisiehill.com/powerful, and I’ll see you in the community.