Hello. This is Devon, one of Maisie’s podcast producers. Maisie asked me to choose another episode to air this week that I found particularly useful. And the one I chose was originally called A Sense of Completion. It’s all about how the season of autumn provides us an opportunity to look inwards, to see the raw truth that is available to us and to have the power to tap into its energy. This is such a powerful season and the shift in energy can also inspire a shift in identity.


If you’re anything like me, you’re going to love listening to this episode again because you love autumn and you love doing this introspective work. So, without further ado, please enjoy.


If you want to do things differently but need some help making it happen then tune in for your weekly dose of coaching from me, Maisie Hill, Master Life Coach and author of Period Power. Welcome to The Maisie Hill Experience.


Thank you to everyone who’s been rating and reviewing the podcast. You taking a minute to do that makes such a difference and I’m actually paying more attention to our statistics. I’m going to tell you a bit more about that.


So I’ve been paying attention and the number of people listening to the podcast is going up and I really appreciate your help because I want to help as many people as possible through the podcast because this is one of the ways that you get to work with me for free. And in the past, I haven’t paid much attention to the numbers, I didn’t need to. But I also didn’t want to because I know that in the past that’s the kind of thing that if I exposed myself to it a lot, and kind got in the habit of checking, and if I didn’t manage my mind around it, it could start to sway my creative process.


And instead of relying on my vision and what I feel called to share and explore and trusting myself in that. Then I might have been more inclined, especially back when I started the podcast to create things based on statistics. And that’s not how I like to do things. It’s not how I want to exist in the world. And it would have taken me out of alignment of why I do the podcast and my whole creative process behind it. So I just reduced my exposure to those numbers. I didn’t really pay attention, barely looked at them, really just didn’t look at them.


But now because of thought work and befriending my nervous system and all the work I’ve done on myself I’m in a place where I can see those numbers and they just don’t sway me; I just see them as numbers. So a couple of months ago I looked okay, and I decided to just set some goals that are based on statistics which isn’t how I usually roll. I’m not particularly motivated by numbers. But a couple of months ago I thought it would be fun to set some numbers-based goals.


And one of the numbers I came up with was to reach a certain number of downloads of the podcast by the end of the year. And I’m going to share those numbers with you. Now, at the time I looked, and I can’t remember exactly when this was. I think it was a couple of months ago, but it was around 600,000 downloads which is amazing. The podcast has been going for almost two years now. I am super proud of it and really proud of that number of downloads, 600,000 in at the time would have been about 18 months. I think that’s outstanding.


And then my mind just went to, wouldn’t it be cool to reach one million downloads by the end of the year, not next year, this year? Actually I can remember when I checked this. It must have been at the end of August or the start of September because I remember thinking that there was four months left of the year. And it kind of felt like a bit of an impossible goal as in it’s a goal that kind of feels impossible within that timeline. But in my head, I just thought, well, that’s what I’m going to do. But I’m not going to push myself to make it happen. It’ll just be a fun number to play with.


And I’ll just focus on continuing to create an episode every week and make the best content I can for you. And I’m also going to be explicit in asking you all to share the podcast with other people, and on your social media, and in asking you to take a moment to leave a review. I just thought, that’s all I’m going to do. And it’s so funny how, I don’t know about you but especially for me asking other people to help. Often, I’ll be honest with you, I kind of feel like this is how my autistic brain works. And I’m trying to retrain it a lot.


But I often just don’t consider asking other people for help. It’s very alien to me and it doesn’t occur to me, whether that’s professionally, personally, anything like that. I just forget that that’s an option. So I’ve been kind of pushing myself to ask for help with these kinds of things. So, thank you because I’ve just checked the statistics and I’ve got to say, I’m a little choked up over here because we are at 800,000 downloads. So a massive shout out to all you who have helped by listening and by spreading the word, I am so grateful to you. And I am sure that whomever you’ve been telling it about is as well.


And I want to give a listener shout out to Claire Bearsings who left this review. “Inspiring eery time. I love not only listening to Maisie’s podcast but the moments of reflection that I have afterwards. I always listen in the car and after the episodes have finished, I drive in silence to process my thoughts on whatever the subject was and how it appears in my own life. This podcast truly impacts my life and I enjoy every episode. If you’re new here, start from the beginning, it’s a wild ride you won’t forget.”


Thank you so much, Claire, I love that you’re noticing the impact, not just while you’re listening but the time you’re taking afterwards to really let it sink in and apply everything I talk about here, so nicely done. And if we keep going we’re going to make a million downloads by the end of the year. So if you want to join me in this mission, please share the podcast in whatever way feels good to you to do so. And I’m just so grateful to you for being here and tuning in every week.


And it it’s no wonder I’m getting a little choked up today and feeling all the feels because it’s cycle day 25 for me which means my period’s going to be starting soon, kind of it could have been yesterday, the day before, could be in a few days still but I’m in that zone. And I had a few ideas in mind for today to talk to you about. But nothing was really landing with me, it just didn’t – I didn’t feel it in my body, know what I mean?


And that kind of sums up my experience of this part of the cycle, a lot of things can feel not quite right, and it becomes more important to me that they do feel right. And that can be about the clothes I wear; they have to fit so well and feel so nice. At this point in the cycle I get very particular. I don’t have a problem with that. And there are several topics I have lined up for our autumn season or spring if you’re in the southern hemisphere. It’s basically a journey that I want to take you on.


But what I had planned just still didn’t feel quite right for today. So I’m just going to go with what I feel called to speak about today. And that’s guided or influenced by where I am in my cycle as well as the season of the year. Now, on Saturday we had our Unlock the Power of the Autumn event and I have to say it was our best yet for so many reasons. I had so much fun. Between the content, and the coaching, and all the other stuff that I’ve been musing on recently I am really rooted in it being autumn.


And as I’ve been sharing, autumn has a no-nonsense vibe to it. There’s a confronting energy to it that is incredibly useful when you know how to work with that energy. And there’s also a sense of returning and completion that comes at this time of year. So think about how you may have been observing that already in nature, so the leaves that began to emerge in spring are falling from the trees and returning to the ground. It’s the end of the lifecycle.


And as you experience this season you may reach some conclusions and decisions about what feels complete in your life. So that’s the vibe for this time of year. And I’m about to guide you into something for a moment. So if you want to and you’re able to, perhaps pause what you’re doing unless you’re driving or something like that, definitely don’t pause that.


And I want to thank my clients in The Flow Collective who a few of you kind of, well, basically I recently put up a post in The Flow Collective asking the members if there’s anything that they’d like me to talk about and do episodes on. And there’s so many great suggestions in there and some of them I’m going to be bringing you now, some of them will maybe be a better fit for next year. But there was a few of you who talked about kind of reaching stages of completion in your life, or letting go, shedding thing.


And it was just, the way that you phrased it just helped me bring this episode together, so thank you to all of you who did that. So we’re going to be taking a moment just to explore things. So if you’re able to just kind of settled and take a moment to become present either within your body if that feels good to you, or you can become present in your environment, just noticing what’s around you and settling into this moment. And as you settle and arrive in this moment, I invite you to become curious about your life.


And with this lightness and curiosity, just notice if there’s anything that feels complete in some way. And as you notice and name what feels complete, what comes up for you? And is there a way for you to gently and lovingly acknowledge this truth for yourself, knowing that you don’t have to take any action about it? This truth can be just for you because you don’t have to take any outward action. There will definitely be internal action and things going on even if you never think about this again simply from the act of noticing and naming. So what feels complete?


Now, relationships with people and places can feel complete for all sorts of reasons. I think it’s really common for us to think that completion comes as a result of something going wrong, or something bad happening, or because someone has done something wrong, whether you think it’s you, or them, or both of you. And that it’s irreparable, and finished, and done. And it can be that, but things can feel complete, and nobody’s done anything wrong.


I remember coaching one of my clients in The Flow Collective on this a few months back and we were exploring a friendship that had ended some time ago. And how the whole time since she’d been beating herself up because the kind of story that she’d attached was that she had done something wrong. And I’m going to share what I suggested to her in case it’s helpful to you.


Maybe your friend had an expectation of you, and by the way, this can also apply if it’s your partner, or a parent, or your children, or a colleague. Maybe they have an expectation, or a request, or hope of some kind, that for whatever reason you were just unable to meet at that time. Maybe they weren’t explicit, and you just didn’t know. Maybe they were explicit, but you were unable to fulfil that need, or request, or whatever else may have come into it. And that doesn’t mean that anyone did anything wrong.


It just means that on that occasion you weren’t able to come together in the way that they wanted and maybe that you would have liked to as well K. It doesn’t have to mean anything about either of you. But of course when you’re the one that’s in it and because you care I’m sure, you do make it mean things about you. That’s why it’s helpful to have coaching to explore things and to bring awareness to what’s going on for you. And it is about you because we have no idea what’s going on for them.


And this is so helpful to do because once we sort through the stories that we have created in our mind, the narratives we formed around certain experiences, then we can see what’s there, what’s left. And you can make decisions without being weighed down and so involved and attached to things. That’s when we get to bring in lightness and clarity that help you to move forwards.


And sometimes you might realize that actually things don’t feel complete. And you might decide to recommit to a relationship or a situation, but to show up in that relationship in a different way, to be self-responsible for yourself and your experience. But other times they will feel compete. Either way you do get to decide how you’re going to be, and you get to be in charge of your experience. And this is so powerful to do because it means you stop making the other person, or people, or situation responsible for how you feel.


And when we remove that blame, and often defensiveness too, when we remove those from situations, relationships that’s when we open up and are receptive to connection and understanding. And that’s something by the way that is available regardless of what action you take. So you can end something and within that decision and experience of doing so be receptive to connection and understanding for yourself and with anyone else involved.


And you can also do it if you recommit and decide to go all in on something. And when I’m coaching someone, I like to be explicit and so I’ll be explicit with you all that I have no clue and I’m not invested in you taking a certain path of action or another because coaching is all about helping you to explore and come to those realizations yourself. I have no idea what’s best for you. So I want you to return to something that maybe came up when I asked you those questions. Think about something that feels complete in your life.


And it doesn’t even have to be a relationship with others. This can be about your relationship with yourself, and an identity shift, something that you’re letting go of, a skin that you’re shedding, something that you’ve decided is outdated and is ready to be released because this is the power of autumn. I’m getting all fired up about this as I’m saying it because the qualities that I associate with autumn, it’s like the raw truth is available to us. There is that fed up-ness and a no-nonsense quality going on. We’re deciding, we’re editing, simplifying, and releasing.


All these qualities are involved and they’re not the qualities that are valued by society or rather if you’re a woman they’re not. So society would much rather that we just smile, and be nice, and continue to take care of everyone, and just keep putting up with all the things. But autumn is where we can tap into that I’m done with this energy. And of course there’s nuance to how you work with that energy, that’s where coaching comes in.


But if you’re listening to this then I’m going to guess that you’re like 99.99% of my audience and clients who are very quick to edit themselves, and to people please, and to just stick a mask on. And so I say all of this to invite you into a moment of truth. And that’s all it has to be, but just a moment of getting real with yourself and telling yourself the truth about how you feel and to feel it and be with that truth. And then we can get to work on exploring things because although your feelings are true, they exist, the thought or the story that’s behind them can be evaluated.


And we don’t have to believe the thought behind every feeling. And with that I love to explore why things feel complete. And just so we’re clear, that doesn’t mean explaining, or justifying, or defending yourself. But if that show up then I really recommend getting curious and exploring why it’s showing up. So as you’re exploring why things feel complete with this thing, whatever it is for you, do you like your reasons for why it feels complete? Does that feel in alignment with your values, how you like to show up in the world? You just want to get a read on that.


And those of you who are in The Flow Collective, remember that you can take anything that’s coming up during this episode to Ask A Coach, our written coaching service where you can get coached by Casey and Amy, our wonderful coaches and they can coach you. So with whatever feels complete to you, whether that’s something inside of yourself or to do with someone else or a situation, and assuming that you like your reasons for it. I want you to think about how you can honour that sense of completion.


If you don’t like your reasons or something’s coming up that you want to explore then just press pause while you do that, but not press pause on the episode, pause on you taking action with the completion. Keep listening to the episode. But if you like your reasons then how can you honour that sense of completion? And what would that look like for you? Because when it comes to you doing this it doesn’t have to be this, and I think we often think it does, it doesn’t have to be this big declaration to the world.


You don’t have to call someone up and say, “Our relationship is complete”, and hang up, or some version of, “I’m done with you.” And if there is maybe an air of that kind of an urge to have a go at someone, I’m going to lovingly suggest that that’s maybe something you could explore or get coached on first. Some of you may well want to have conversations with other people and it may be an incredibly kind and helpful, respectful thing to do. But you can also just turn down the dial on things.


You can lower the volume in relationships and situations, just as you can turn the volume up if you decide to go all in on a relationship or situation. And again remember that this can be to do with your relationship with yourself too, something may feel complete within you. This came up on a recent coaching call where this call was all about reviewing the past season. And I was coaching the members on the things that came up as a result of that process.


So they get a workbook that helps them to do that and then I was just coaching them on the stuff that came up. And I was coaching a client on how she had reached her goal, which was just so amazing. It was such a huge deal to her, and it was just amazing for us to celebrate her success on the call. But she was struggling to adjust to the reality of that and accepting that she had done this amazing thing. And we spoke about her saying goodbye to the previous versions of herself, the versions, the parts of herself that had got her to this place but are no longer needed.


So as we explored things we talked about her letting go and realising there was a sense of completion because there are things that we can put in place. And we all do this. There’s things that when we’re struggling with something, having a hard time there’s things that we can put in place that support us in improving things and shifting things. But that doesn’t mean that we’re always going to need those things. There might be times when you do, that’s perfectly okay. It’s also okay if you always use them. It doesn’t mean anything when you do if you do.


But it can feel a little disconcerting to begin with to not rely on the things that have helped you get to this place. It’s like taking the training wheels off because you can actually ride the bike. It takes some adjusting to it. Actually I’m not sure that’s the best, I’m sure you understand what I mean. But I think it’s more useful to think about there’s a time where being in the kiddies’ pool when you’re learning to swim is helpful. And then it’s time to go into the big pool. And there might be times when you need to come back to the kiddies’ pool. But there’s that adjustment that takes place.


So you may feel a sense of completion with a part of yourself and the way that you think about yourself and limiting beliefs, patterns of negative self-talk and criticism. Things might have shifted for you. And with whatever you feel a sense of completion with it’s okay, it’s okay to feel that. You’re not meant to be the same for all of your life, friendships evolve, some come and go, that’s okay.


Relationships can also go through phases and one phase can be complete and you can be intentional about that without ending a friendship. It can just be the relationship evolves. So I was thinking about this and might be fun for you to as well. So think back to your first best friend, or maybe your first job, or where I went with this was the first person that you dated or had a significant relationship with. And I know that some of you are still in relationships, long term ones. You still have friendships and partners that kind of started kind of from the beginning really.


The same with jobs and career choices but hopefully you can find an example for what I’m about to say. So I didn’t have a best friend as a kid, but my first job was either sorting first and second-class mail in a Royal Mail sorting office or selling hoovers and irons in Curry’s, which is a chain, electrical store in the UK. So I was doing both for a bit, I can’t remember what came first. And there was also my first long-term relationship, I’m kind of cringing inside, from 16 to 18.


And all of these things, they were decent experiences. There’s nothing wrong with any of them. But I wouldn’t want to be in any of them now. Nothing wrong with any of them and I would do those jobs if I needed to, I wouldn’t do that relationship again. He was a nice guy but there’s never been a point since breaking up with him where I thought I could actually be with him again. It’s just a no, that relationship was complete, and it ended, probably ended a bit before we actually broke up because I had reached a sense of completion before then.


So think about me and Lee, that was his name, we had a great time together but there was just no way that that was going to be the relationship for me forever. So as you’re hearing me say this, you can hear the change in my voice I’m sure, my body’s gone all tight and weird. So knowing that, that even just talking about it is having this impact on my body, would you expect me to stay in that relationship and just always find ways to make it work? Probably not.


But are you currently expecting yourself to always be the same person and are you expecting others to always be the same? Or are you leaving space for you and other people to evolve? And if you are, whichever way you’re doing, I think it’s just useful to ask yourself why. But remember that this doesn’t mean that if you’re making the ’right decision’ that it should feel great. You can feel a sense of completion and feel relief, joy, sadness, grief, and disappointment or most likely all of them.


And this is why it’s so important to know where the decision is coming from and to like your reasons for it because otherwise, you’ll feel sad or disappointed and think that’s because you made the wrong decision and that you should return to the situation, or that you made a mistake. Do you see what I mean about the importance of feeling your emotions but knowing the reason, the thought that’s behind them and exploring if it’s true, or helpful, or kind?


And when we think about this, a sense of completion and letting go and release, that also comes into play because this will relate most likely to your identity and your sense of self and your values as well. Because letting go of parts of yourself or of other people and situations is probably going to confront your identity somehow. For instance, if you stop doing certain behaviours, what does that mean about you?


So I’m going to share a little example from a friend who talked to me about this, this week. I’m not going to say who it was, but they were talking about how they used to dance on tables when they were drunk. So if you stop doing that, there’s like a sense of completion in your life. And I went through this too. I definitely remember dancing on tables. There’s a sense of completion where I can’t see an opportunity where I’m going to do that in my life, I’ll be honest. I’m open to if it happens but I don’t really see it happening.


So if your behaviour changes and there’s a sense of completion with kind of how you socialise or something along these lines then does that mean that you’re no longer the fun one in the group and that you’re not a fun person to be around? Or if you dial down the communication in a relationship, does that mean that you’re a bad friend, or bad sibling, or bad offspring, bad daughter, or son, or whatever? So this is another part of why letting go can feel so challenging, because you attach all this other story and basically you shame yourself.


This is why everything I’ve mentioned so far in this episode is so important and it’s why getting coached on it is so helpful because then we can explore things, clear up stuff see, what’s really going on and make decisions from there. And of course not everyone is going to be happy about your decisions. You may not feel happy about it, but that doesn’t stop it from being necessary and important.


And I’m going to be doing a bunch of stuff about identity shifts in the coming months, but I wanted to start bringing it in now and highlighting it. But think again about the autumn season of the year and how those leaves when they fall to the ground, they’re not clinging onto the branch or to the stem that they’re attached to. Their identity shifted. They were – I don’t know what leaves do, starting to unfurl, sprout, grow. And then they were flourishing. And now their identity is shifting again. And they are changing colour, letting go, dropping to the ground.


It’s just identity shifts. We don’t make that mean anything about leaves changing. We’re not around judging all the leaves for how they have changed but you might be doing that to yourself. And also those leaves falling to the ground do so much. Their lifecycle has completed but it’s the end and the beginning because those leaves provide nourishment to the soil. And they also offer protection.


When we leave leaves on the ground, we do nature a great favour and we also save ourselves from an unnecessary task because when fallen leaves break down naturally and they’re left alone they improve the soil quality, and they provide a habitat and food supply for all sorts of creatures. And they provide insulation to plants over the winter. They’re so valuable to the ecosystem. So even though they had this identity shift, they’ve reached the end of their lifecycle. They’ve dropped to the ground. They’re still so valuable for the whole ecosystem.


And you can do the same with acknowledging what feels complete, to release it and let go of whatever it is within you or with others, or places, situations to just let those leaves drop to the ground, knowing that in all the emotions that are there, that noticing what’s going on, naming it, feeling it, exploring it, processing of it all. That’s going to provide nourishment to what’s about to begin even if you have no idea what that thing is. You’re just creating space for what’s next. And by doing this you’re also providing a layer of protection and nourishment for whatever comes next in your life.


Hey, if you love listening to this podcast then come and check out my membership, The Flow Collective, where you get my best resources and all the coaching you need to transform your inner and outer life. Sign up to the waitlist at theflowcollective.co/join, and I’ll see you in the community.