You are listening to episode 123 of The Maisie Hill Experience. Today I want to talk to you all about levelling up. Let’s do this.

If you want to do things differently but need some help making it happen then tune in for your weekly dose of coaching from me, Maisie Hill, Master Life Coach and author of Period Power. Welcome to The Maisie Hill Experience.

Hi, lovelies. I am high on life right now. I just got back from a two-day trip to London, and I had the best time. This trip had a specific purpose, and it was a huge success. And I was showing a little bit of what I was getting up to on Instagram. And kind of getting ready to talk over there about it and kind of share more of the details so that you could apply it in your own life. But then I realised I’ve actually got a lot to say about this and why don’t I just record a podcast episode for you all. Because then it’s a helpful resource for you to use now and also return to in future.

So, I’m going to explain why I went away, everything that I got up to and why I did all the specific things that I did. I’m going to share my thinking and my process so that you can use it to inform doing something similar. And I’m going to give you a variety of ways that you can do this in your life because this is something that I’ve done on multiple occasions in all sorts of ways for many, many years.

So, the purpose of the trip was to step into the next version of me, to take some time away from my regular life to intentionally connect with my future self to focus on who I’m becoming, what I’m letting go of and what’s next for me. So, this is something that I do on a pretty regular basis. There have been times where I’ve done it as part of a business coaching programme or mastermind that I’ve been part of. But I’ve also done it in other ways too.

And I’m going to share examples with you so that whether you’re thinking about your professional life or your personal life or both you can apply what I’m going to be sharing. But before I do that I want you to think of a time where you’ve stepped into the next version of yourself, just a significant moment that you felt that levelling up like, whoa, we’re doing things differently now. We’re entering a new level on the video game, that kind of thing. It could be that you did something that required you to have courage in order to do it, a challenging situation.

It could be a holiday, a work trip, an opportunity that you said yes to or that you created for yourself. Could even be an opportunity that you said no to. It could be an experience, a conversation with someone that was significant to you. There are all sorts of ways that this can happen. And when it does you experience a levelling up, an upgrade of some kind.

So as a business owner and entrepreneur I know that every time I experience that levelling up, it not only benefits me, but it also benefits my team, my clients and everyone who engages with my work, including everyone who listens to the podcast. Because when I do this my self-concept shifts. When I say self-concept I’m referring to how you see yourself and the beliefs that you have about yourself and what’s possible for you.

It’s all the thoughts and feelings that you have about yourself which of course then relate to your internal experience of life and how you show up to your life. So, let’s say you’re walking into a meeting, or an interview and your self-concept is lacking. Then you might be telling yourself that you don’t belong, that everyone can tell that you don’t know what you’re doing. And that everyone’s smarter than you and that they deserve to be there, but you’re the one who’s out of place.

These are thoughts that you might be aware of, you might notice them coming up or they could just be kind of running in the background and you’re thinking them but you’re not really aware that you’re thinking them. And your confidence, your belief in yourself will be lower. And that’s going to be reflected in how you carry yourself in a very literal way, in your posture, your demeanour, your expressions, even your tone of voice.

It will all be coming through and it will also be the place from which you answer questions or contribute to the conversation or possibly not contribute. Whereas if your self-concept is sufficient you’ll have a completely different experience because you’ll be telling yourself that you do belong, that this is for you, that you know what you’re doing and that you’re capable. But I want to point out that doesn’t mean that you’ll always have the answers to everything that’s asked of you.

But thinking those thoughts is more likely to generate answers and solutions or simply saying, “That’s not something I can answer right now.” And it being completely okay within you so then it’s transmitted to others in that quite neutral factual way. So, imagine being in a work meeting being asked something and just saying that you don’t know and that feeling completely neutral to you, completely okay. Imagine how that comes across when you’re feeling confident and not making it mean anything about you that you don’t know something.

And experiencing that felt sense of safety within you, how would that be for you? How would you come across to others? So, levelling up is all about increasing your self-concept and expanding into the next version of yourself, not from a place of thinking that who you are now is crap, that’s not how we do things around here. It doesn’t come from inner criticism and judgement. You want this to come from a place of already loving and accepting who you are because otherwise you’re always going to be running away from yourself in search of some perfect version of you.

And you always feel like crap doing that, even if you were to become that perfect vision of yourself on paper, you tick all those boxes, it wouldn’t feel great. Now, when we are all in the day-to-day of our lives you can definitely be increasing your self-concept just as you go about your daily things, especially when you bring awareness and use thought work and so many of the tools that I teach my clients. And this is something that I see in myself, I see in my clients all the time.

So, you can just do it as part of your day-to-day but there’s also something about taking some time away and changing your environment that really supports this process, which is why I went up to London and stayed in a nice hotel. I stayed at the Nobu on Portman Square which is just behind the Selfridges on Oxford Street. And as you’re going to see, these details are relevant to my story. If you decide to do this process of taking some time off to step into the next version of you, I recommend going away.

There’s something significant about the process of leaving and coming back. That can be to another country or the town that’s next to you. It can be to a hotel or to a cafe or restaurant that you’re not accustomed to going to, but it needs to be an environment that brings you out of your day-to-day. And I think there’s a bit of an upgrade on what you would usually do. For a couple of years, I was in a business mastermind and every six months there was a three-day event where we’d all get together and focus on our businesses.

And I think the first time I signed up the plan was that we’d all meet in person. And I think the first one was going to be in New York but then the pandemic happened, and we all took part virtually. So, in this example I didn’t go anywhere in terms of leaving the country like I was meant to, but I did book an Airbnb and that was a big deal for me at the time, to say I’m going to invest in staying somewhere so that I can focus on this and not be interrupted.

And it wasn’t a fancy Airbnb by any means. But it had a little outside patio area that I could go into when we were taking breaks. And there was some good coffee nearby and the Deliveroo options were solid which was most important to me. And I went on a huge journey over the course of those three days and that included growing my self-concept as a business owner. At the end of those three days, I was a completely different person.

And that would inform and support everything that happened once I was back working in my business because remember, working on your business is different to working in your business. And also, just applying for this mastermind created a huge shift in me, paying for it did too. It was a very large number. So even before the event happened I was already forever changed because I was like, “Well, I’m someone who does this.” That was huge for me to do.

And I see this in so many of my clients who join the membership who say that the act of signing up has changed them because they’ve never done anything like this for themselves before. So that was one occasion where I did this. But then the next time for this same mastermind but I guess it was six months later, I stayed at a friend’s house whilst they were away. And even though I wasn’t paying anything for that, it was a huge level up for me because their house is so much nicer than ours and really pleasant to be in. And then the time after that I stayed in a hotel.

Now, I don’t have much experience with hotels. I’m getting there now. I’m getting more used to them. And I remember ordering room service because the event was running on US time. And just with the timing of the breaks, the length of the breaks, it just wasn’t possible for me to go to the restaurant or pop out and get something which definitely would have been my preference.

So, I got room service, which was also huge for me to do, and I ate my burger. And then I didn’t know what to do with my plate and the tray that it came on. So, I had to message Claire Byrne who was on the podcast recently to ask her what I should do with it because I just didn’t know what to do. And I don’t feel at home in hotels. I know that’s a lot of somewhat the point of going to a hotel is that it’s not your home, you get to have a different experience, but I feel very awkward in them. That’s partly because I’m autistic and there’s lots of unknowns about hotels.

Going to the post office is a similar experience for me, but it’s not just that. It’s also the story that I have about hotels, that they’re not for me, that I don’t belong, that they’re for posh people, rich people and that I’m on the verge of being thrown out because someone’s definitely going to realise that I shouldn’t be there and ask me to leave. So, I can laugh at those thoughts and be like, “Oh, my gosh, how ridiculous.” But they’re very real thoughts for me. We all have them.

And so, staying in a hotel is a huge stretch for me. So, over the last year or so I’ve tried staying in them a few times. I’m working with it on purpose. One time I was with Paul and Nelson in London, and we needed to stay over. So, I booked us into a hotel. It was the type of hotel that you book into when you just need somewhere to stay the night rather than have an experience or a trip. So, it wasn’t in central London and still it was £220 for the night. This was in November the year before last, so not that long ago, only about 18 months ago.

And it was a really big deal to do that, to book the hotel and say to my family, “We’re going to stay here tonight instead of driving home at one in the morning.” It was stretching my self-concept and I was able to revel in booking it, but I was not able to revel in being there.

Nelson loved it, he was so happy, very excited, amazed to be there, but I was so stressed out. So, in the morning at breakfast, he had a bowl of cereal, a bowl of fruit. And he wanted to get a third bowl to put another type of cereal in because the first thing I think he’d had was coco-pops and they turned the milk chocolatey, and he didn’t want to put Frosties in it. Which now with my thinking brain online I can get on board with that, it makes sense.

But because I was stressed out about being there and kind of the software in the background, the thoughts in the background were worry about being thrown out. I completely freaked out about the idea of one person using three bowls for breakfast. And I just kind of laid into him about it, about how he’s creating more washing up for someone who works there. And just because we’re staying in a hotel which is a very privileged thing to be able to do. I just went on and on about it.

And I took something that was fun and exciting for him and basically ruined it because I felt uncomfortable and stressed out. So that’s the background to me and hotels. And on this trip I actually looked at booking the same hotel because that was just automatic, I can stay there again. But I decided to go for something in central London that was more about the experience of staying somewhere rather than just having somewhere to sleep.

And this was very intentional because I knew it would give me an opportunity to challenge the beliefs I have and that it would create a container for growth that I could expand into. For you it could be something completely different. I feel very comfortable creating, writing, presenting, coaching, speaking on stage, all of those things. But being in environments that aren’t for people like me according to my brain and my thoughts, that is uncomfortable. That’s an area of growth.

Plus, all the things that I just don’t have a sense of. I don’t know what to say to the people on the front desk. There are multiple people at the front desk. Who do I approach? Are they going to make it clear to who I should speak to? That for me, I just want to walk out. That’s autistic hell for me. Even someone opening the door for me to get into the hotel is weird and uncomfortable. And then there’s the whole, do you want help with your luggage, all of those things. It’s so awkward for me.

So initially there’s all this discomfort but I know that on the other side of that I’m probably going to have an amazing time, that on the other side of the stress, the awkwardness is relaxation. So, can I be in that discomfort of the unknown in order to get to where I want to be knowing that in the process my view of myself is going to shift as well? So, I got through it. It was lovely, they were very lovely there. I get settled in my room. It feels very comfortable. I’m proud of myself. I’m doing it.

And then I unpack, I lie on the bed, I watch an episode of Drive to Survive which is the Netflix series about Formula 1. I love, love, love sports documentaries, I get so into them. And lately I’ve been completely hyper focused on Drive to Survive. This is entertainment but it’s not just entertainment for me. I find it really useful because through the screen I’m spending time with people who are going for it.

I don’t necessarily want to emulate all of their approaches and behaviours and values. But they’re being intentional about taking themselves to the edge and existing at the edge of what’s possible, increasing their capacity, testing their limits and also the limits of the car which is exactly what I was doing on this trip. I was expanding myself, increasing my self-concept and hanging out in that space where it’s a bit of a challenge, I’m up against an edge. There’s some discomfort but can I find ways to be there?

So, watching Drive to Survive, supporting that because I was learning from seeing them doing it. Then I decided to go to Selfridges. Now, for those of you who don’t know Selfridges, it’s a luxury department store. They stock a lot of designer labels amongst other things. I’ve been in there a few times in my life, but I basically walk straight back out, I go in and I go out. First of all, all the perfume is just sensory hell for me, so is the noise, the lights. And I also feel out of place there in the same way I do with hotels, like this is not for me, I don’t belong here.

They’re going to think I’m going to steal something. Who do you think you are walking into a place like this? These are just environments that bring out all of the ridiculous thoughts. And that’s really useful because it shows me all the things that I can self-coach on and take to my coaches to get coached on. But even without the sensory overload, it’s a challenge for me to walk through and be in these kinds of shops.

So last year we were at Gatwick going on holiday and they have a shop that sells watches there. And we’re just kicking around, we’ve got a bit of time to spare. So, I’m asking Paul about the watch that he would like to get one day. And it’s not way up there in terms of watches because watches get ridiculous with how much they are and what they can cost. But again, I was just kind of experimenting in my mind with what it would be like to one day get that watch for him. So, I was asking him about it and I’m like, “Why don’t we go in and if they’re there then you can point it out to me, so I know which is the one.”

Again, this is just the watch shop at the airport, it’s a big deal for me. So, we go in and Paul points to the two watches that he likes. And then it’s pretty quiet in there. And the chap just comes over and is like, “Do you want to try them on?” And I answer for Paul. The only reason I did this because I was so on edge. You know when you’re on edge and someone says something and you react, you respond really quickly? That’s what happened. So, I’m feeling awkward, the guys asked the question. I’m like, “Yeah, get them out, let’s try them on.”

And then so now Paul’s sitting down trying on the watches even though zero intention of buying it. But I just couldn’t handle being in there and I just had to get out of there. So, I took Nelson off, I’m like, “We’ve got to buy some sweets.” And just suddenly we’re back in the safety of WH Smith which is just a newsagent that sells papers and sweets and magazines, much, much more in my comfort zone. So, where I’m staying at this hotel in London, Selfridges, the luxury department store, is just right around the corner. And I’ve come to grow my self-concept.

So, I’m thinking, okay, how about experimenting with going in there and using all the tools that I have to create safety for myself and to be in the discomfort and just kind of be in that edge zone. So, I go in and it’s not as busy as it has been on previous occasions. I also went in an entrance that didn’t mean I had to navigate all the perfume. So that was a great move. So, I’m walking along, and I spot the [inaudible] store which I now know how to say because my friend, Helena, recently told me.

And I’m looking at the handbags. And before I’d gone in I’d set myself the challenge of interacting with one bag and interacting with someone who worked there. So, I’m thinking, I’m not going to force myself to do it, but I’m just going to be curious and experimental. And just test this out and see what happens, and I did it. I picked up one of the bags. I asked about different straps. I tried a bag on. I had a conversation with the sales associate. This for me is literally the equivalent of driving a Formula 1 car. It was terrifying and it was also exhilarating.

For many of you this is what it’s like to start giving boundaries or to not people please. It’s uncomfortable because it’s unfamiliar, not because it’s wrong. And when you do it the first time it feels really weird, but it’s also exhilarating. Then you do it a second time, it’s still weird and uncomfortable but not as much because it’s the second time. And then you do it again and it becomes more normal. And then the thing that was your edge gradually becomes your baseline, your new normal.

Knowing this I decided to keep going. So I go to another floor, the one with the shoes on because I had recently seen a TikTok where someone was talking about the Gucci Horsebit loafers. And I’m not someone who buys designer gear and I’m pretty confident that apart from Calvin Klein boxers which I wore in the late 90s with baggy jeans and trousers, I don’t think I’ve ever bought something designer. But I saw these loafers online and I just thought, if I was going to buy something designer, it would be those.

They were just very me, very classic, the kind of thing that would last you, you’d wear for 30 years and just gorgeous. So, I’m walking around and I spot the Gucci store. And by the way, I have to add in, that I don’t like how in these department stores, I just don’t have the best sense of direction when I’m in them. And I have a very good sense of direction. I love to be the person navigating, but it’s like when I go in I enter some weird vortex because of all my thoughts and the edge of panic rising inside me.

And I can’t figure out how to get out of them. So, I kind of experience this sense of being trapped. And when that’s going on and we have that kind of stress response then we feel like we’re being watched. If we feel trapped then it’s like a predator’s got their eyes on us. So, for me going to another floor is a really big deal. So, I see the Gucci store and I immediately spot these loafers. And I’m just thinking, okay, you’ve made it this far, wouldn’t it be great to try them which is a level up.

So already I’ve tried on a handbag, but you don’t have to take anything off really to try on a handbag, you can just do it and walk away, no big deal. But to take my shoes off and then put other one’s on and they have to go and get something. That’s another level up. So, I’m like, “Yeah, let’s do that.” So, I’m already feeling really proud of myself but I’m thinking I’m going to up the ante and try these shoes on.

And so, I walk straight over to the loafers and ask the sales associate if they come in brown and she’s like, “Yes, they do. They’ve been out of stock for ages. We thought they were going to be discontinued but they’ve recently come back in stock.” So, I’m like, “Okay, alright, I’ll try them on.” So, she brings them out with a fancy shoe horn as well.

I put them on and I’m walking around to see how they fit, how they feel and just kind of acclimatising to this experience which I have to say was quite challenging because they have all these rugs on the floor, and I kept slipping in the shoes. So, there’s absolutely no grip. So, as I’m trying not to slip I hear someone go, “Are you Maisie Hill?” So, hello to Farrah who listens to the podcast and recognised me whilst I was going through this interesting experiment. So, we spoke for a moment.

And then the staff asked me what I do and who I was. So, I explained. And now they’re Goggling me and saying they found my book and offering to buy me a drink which was the perfect additional challenge to my experiment. So, thank you, Farrah, you unwittingly contributed to a situation that resulted in a lot of self-growth for me. So, the result that I wanted from this trip actually happened within a couple of hours of me arriving at the hotel. I haven’t even done any self-coaching yet. Well, actually that’s not true.

I was self-coaching myself in my head the entire time at Selfridges, but I hadn’t done any of the things that I’d planned. Now, this was all about me being in environments where my automatic thoughts are that they’re not for me, I don’t belong there etc. And those thoughts result in me feeling uncomfortable and a bit fearful too.

Being around luxury, not necessarily spending luxurious amounts of money but being in a more luxurious environment and around designer items etc. That’s an area of growth for me, not necessarily because I want to buy designer clothes, but because it poses a challenge to my self-concept that I can then intentionally work with. And that expands my capacity for so many other things that have nothing to do with Gucci loafers. In the past I’ve done this over the course of an afternoon, just a few hours.

Years ago, before I wrote Period Power, I remember doing this process. And I didn’t have a lot of available time because Nelson was only in nursery two mornings a week. Maybe he actually at that point, he wasn’t even in nursery. But I managed to create an afternoon for myself, and we didn’t have a car at the time, and I just got on a bus, and I went to Broadstairs which is the next town along from us and I went to a cafe that I had never been to before. I ordered a coffee and a pastry because I’m sure I didn’t have the money to buy lunch.

I took a notepad with me. I made notes on who knows what but probably some kind of plan about what I wanted my life to look like. Can you see how with that example, I left, I went somewhere unfamiliar with a different view to get a different perspective and to be intentional about what I wanted, to step into the next version of me? I got my coffee and cake, I wrote a bunch of things down. I wish I still had that notebook. I probably do somewhere. I made some decisions and then I got back on the bus and came home.

But I came home changed, that’s what this process is all about. Now, it’s ideal if you don’t do your normal work stuff during his time but don’t make it a problem if you do. I decided to go away five days beforehand. So, I had some stuff booked in that I didn’t want to cancel. I was scheduled to be a guest on my friend, Elsa’s podcast, to coach for Maggie Reyes in her marriage MBA programme. I also had a meeting with Beck, my Director of Operations. And I wasn’t going to cancel any of those.

I also needed to get back to Margate at a certain time because of other commitments that I had. Now, I could have used any one of those things as a reason not to go and I almost did, but my coach, Robin, she coached me on it. And I was actually only going to go away for one night, but Robin was like, “Why don’t you make it two nights?” So that’s what I did. And I share this because there’s never going to be a perfect time to do this. So how can you do it, how can you make it work? Move into that space rather than focusing on the things that could stand in your way if you allow them to.

So that was my first afternoon and evening. And then I woke up the next day ready to do some work, not my usual work but work on myself and the business. So over breakfast and several coffees I cracked open a new notebook, asked myself a lot of questions and took the time to really answer them. If you are in the membership you actually have access to most of the questions that I used in the seasonal workbooks that we give you all.

So, these questions, they’re not quite the same because they’re more related to my business, but they’re designed to work in the same way. So, this is something that you can all do. If you’re in the membership then just save or print out a workbook. Go somewhere you don’t usually go to help you see things with fresh eyes and step into your future self.

And then answer the questions, connect with your future self and begin to embody that version of yourself. By doing this, you’ll get clarity on what’s important, what your next best step is and who you’ll become in order to achieve your goals and create the results that you want in your life, whatever they happen to be for you. They can be personal, professional, most likely they’re going to be both. You’ll make decisions, come up with plans which is exactly what I did.

I wrote pages and pages just self-coaching myself into the next chapter of my life. Kimberly, who follows me on Instagram, she asked me, “How do you know when you’re in this transition and need to do something like this?” And I don’t think there’s a right time to do it or that you need to wait until it feels like something you need to do. So, as I said, I give my clients a worksheet at the start of every season. They don’t have to do it but those that do use it are amazed with what they uncover and the insights and the realisations that follow.

Now, I did pick this particular time for a reason. The sun was in Aries which is my 12th house in astrology, and I think of the 12th house as the premenstrual phase of the astrological cycle. Mine happens to be in Aries. So, March 21st to April 20th is Aries season. That’s a great opportunity for me to retreat and reflect and see where I’m self-sabotaging and holding myself back. And to do the internal work around that in order to step into the version of me that is, I would describe as born once we’re in Taurus which is my rising sign.

And now we are in Taurus, it’s my first house so it’s a container for growth in the same way that the menstrual cycle is. And the work that I do here will see me through the upcoming year. On the particular days that I went away the moon was also in Aries. So, I knew it would be a really good time to leave my family behind and focus on me, but you don’t need to know about astrology to do this. Any time you choose to step out of your usual life and bring some intentionality and focus, is going to be useful. It was also the run up to the solar eclipse.

So, a great time to let go and make way for what’s next. It was all about endings and beginnings. And after all the self-coaching that I did, I had an osteopathy appointment. In a recent episode I shared my birth story, and I talked about how much I loved having osteopathy throughout the pregnancy and how great Annik, the osteopath that I used to see is. And as I was recording it, I was like, “Oh man, I should just find a way to go and see her again, she’s so good at what she does.”

I don’t have a lot of treatments. I used to have more but it’s actually quite challenging for me to find a practitioner because first of all I have a very high standard when it comes to treatments. And there are some things that practitioners do that aren’t even about high standards, they’re just very basic things that somehow get missed or done wrong.

When I get a body massage and someone’s massaging my legs I don’t want them stroking my labia, but that happens, it shouldn’t, but it does. I’m sure it’s accidental, but it shouldn’t be happening in the first place. When I was trained in massage we were taught a certain way that meant that could never happen. So, it blows my mind that it does, but also most people know who I am. And that can end up with me having a not so great experience.

Sometimes I can feel someone’s hand shaking with nervousness or what’s more likely is that they feel they have something to prove on me and give me a way stronger treatment than I want. And even when I specifically say, “I just want a relaxing treatment, no deep tissue, please, I just want to feel relaxed.” And then I just get pummelled, and I feel sore after and it’s not relaxing to me at all. It doesn’t help that I also realised recently that I mask when I get treated, but again it’s the practitioner’s responsibility to be checking in on how it feels.

All that to say it’s been six months since I last had a treatment of any kind and I really wanted one, but also if you listened to last week’s episode about spring you’ll know that I spoke about the shift in energy that takes place at this time of year. It’s more up and out. So, I was thinking, how can I physically support that?

I’ve been paying more attention to my posture, trying not to be so hunched over, creating space within my body, creating space to expand into. But I really felt that having a treatment would do a lot of good. And oh my gosh, it was so amazing. I could just feel all this fizzing across my back during the treatment and after. And my posture is completely different now just from that one treatment. If you’re in London, go and see Annik. We will put a link to her details in the show notes. But I went to see her at a clinic right next to Vauxhall Station and she’s just amazing.

I love it when you go and see someone, and you know you’re in good hands. There’s also lots of student clinics at colleges and universities that train people in therapies which is a really accessible option. But if seeing a practitioner isn’t an option for you right now, that can be about finances, it can be about your location, then I’ve got another option for you. Just get a large bath towel, fold it in half along the length, and then roll it up so it’s a sausage shape. Then you’re going to put it on the ground and lie on top of it so that your spine is going lengthways on top of the towel.

So, you have your spine and then the towel is mirroring where your spine is. You can also use a yoga bolster if you happen to have one, but you don’t need one, you can do it with a bath towel. This is a technique that I used to recommend to my massage clients all the time. It’s very relaxing but it’s simply a position that is the opposite of what we spend most of our day in. So, we’ve spoken about changing the physical environment by going to somewhere else, but you can also change your physical environment by shifting your body and working with your body in a different way.

So instead of having your shoulders and upper body all hunched over and rounded forward, you’re lying down, and the towel enables your shoulders to drop back. So doing something physical like this helps because it’s creating space inside you. It’s also about how you’re treating yourself, especially if you’ve never had a treatment or it’s just not typical for you. So, after the treatment I walked through central London back to the hotel just feeling the difference in my body and in my thinking and taking the time to process these shifts and let them integrate and settle.

I coached for Maggie in her programme which was so much fun. I could feel the difference in my coaching after doing all this work on myself. Then I met my brother for dinner which was a lot of fun. We had frozen margaritas. I think it’s been over a decade since I had one of those, possibly 15 years. And we chatted about our businesses, coaching and a whole lot of Formula 1.

And then the following morning featured more self-coaching but more in terms of making decisions. So, the first day of doing this it was more like opening up and expanding into what’s possible, playing around with ideas. And then the next day was more of a contraction, not in a negative way but it was more about being defined, so expanding out and then reining it in whilst also keeping that expansiveness. And then it was time to get going and get back to Margate.

Now, this part can be the most challenging part of all. You go away, you connect with your future self. It feels so great. You do some self-coaching, you work on your belief in yourself, you increase your self-concept, you begin to dream bigger. And then you have to go back to normal life, back to reality. You go back to your home, to the mess, to the crumbs in the car, to the problems, to the people that you see every day. You return to your usual day and your usual work, your usual food, your usual view.

Can you maintain a connection to the version of you that you intentionally stepped into whilst away? My experience of this is that there’s going to be a bit of a drop down. If that happens, don’t make it a problem. I think it’s perfectly reasonable and to be expected. All you have to do is maintain the connection, read through your journaling, go back to your self-coaching. Remind yourself of what you discovered, what it felt like in your body, bring it to coaching. I made a list of all sorts of things to get coached on with my coaches.

I also brought back the branded packet from the hotel that has the nail file in it that was in the bathroom just so that I’ve got a visual reminder on my desk. So, you just want to find the ways that you can maintain that connection but also I just like to think once we discover this version of ourselves, once we go through that level up it’s always available, it’s always there. So, if you want to do this for yourself, here’s a reminder of the steps.

First, create a time to step away from your usual life. It can be for a couple of hours, a day, several days, however you can make it work. And just get what you need in place to do it. Think about what would be an area of growth for you, is it being in certain environments like it was for me? Is it enjoying yourself? I’ve been coaching some of the members on this recently on accessing joy and pleasure and fun.

So that could be the thing that you work on. Or is it about seeing yourself in a new profession, seeing yourself as a mother? And that can be whether you have kids or not because I know some people who have kids and struggle to identify as a mother. Or is it about self-care or doing an activity of some kind? There’s so much you can explore here.

Third step, decide where you will go. It needs to be somewhere less familiar to you. Ideally something that’s a bit of an upgrade on what you typically do. It doesn’t have to be an upgrade by a lot, but just a little bit is fine. This time for me it was a nice hotel for two nights. In the past as I said, it’s been an hour in a cafe a bus ride away. It could be going to an event of some kind.

Fourth step, consider your physical experience, having a treatment, carrying yourself more upright, being more powerful in your posture, dressing a certain way, doing a physical activity like a dance class, horse riding, rock climbing, something that you’ve always wanted to do, or to reconnect with from your past. It could be something that’s unusual to you. This will all help you to experience a level up. It can be looking in different directions, looking at the horizon, looking up at what’s around you. This will also change how you feel and how you think.

The fifth step, write notes, journal, plan, examine your mindset, dream, if you’re a member of The Flow Collective, print out or download one of the workbooks that are all fillable on devices as well. Answer the questions and prepare to be amazed with what comes up, you’re going to tap into your inner wisdom, connect with your future self. And then you can bring it to Ask a Coach which is our individual written coaching service. You can bring it to a call to get coached on, bring it to the community.

If you’re not a member, you can join at a later date, but you can just still do this yourself, just asking yourself questions, in the same way that you would be asking a friend, “What do you want your life to be like?” And just go from there.

And then step number six, the final step, back to reality. How can you maintain a connection to the version of you that you expanded into? How can you take that increased self-concept and create other things in your life like experience that upgrade, that levelling up?

So that’s the process. Remember there’s a transcript of every episode on my website maisiehill.com. So, you can always go back and reference things there. Come back to this again in the future and listen to it. I hope you found it useful. It was an amazing experience for me and every time I do this I experience huge shifts within myself that then ripple out and impact other people. And it’s just a really amazing thing to do. So, I hope you can take what I’ve shared today and use it in your own life and experience that level up.

Hey, if you love listening to this podcast then come and check out my membership, The Flow Collective, where you get my best resources and all the coaching you need to transform your inner and outer life. Sign up to the waitlist at theflowcollective.co/join, and I’ll see you in the community.